Top 10 Reasons Why HAL Killed the Crew

    10     9     8     7     6     5     4     3     2     1

#2 No 9000 computer has ever made a mistake. He was right about the 9000 series having a perfect operational record. They do. But the Space Agency only thought they shipped HAL 9000. He was actually HAL 8999beta5.

RESPIRATORY CARDIOVASCULAR
NEUROLOGICAL SYSTEMIC
GASTROINTESTINAL LIMBIC
MOTOR CONTROL AD RESISTANCE

Emergency Manual Revival Instructions:

1) Pour 150cc's of strong coffee into IV.

2) Shake patient's shoulder vigorously.

3) Shout 'rise and shine' in a cheery voice.

4) Slap patient's face. Repeat as needed.

5) If hibernation continues: 500cc's of ice water.


©1999 by Bob Kanefsky. Feel free to link, but do not distribute this HTML. Click below for a version you may email or post wherever you like.

Emailable version





You are here: Roving Mouse > Humor > 2001 > Top Ten